I have lots of Australian friends and one of them still calls me a Pommie Bastard, in jest, even though the expression has now fallen out of favour. I don't care what he calls me because I know that he is being both friendly and ironic, and he knows that I will not take offence. Others would be insulted no matter the relationship.
Every time you speak to someone you have to be aware of the context in which you are making observations and asking questions, especially with people you have just met. I have worked in many countries and managed teams of people from different backgrounds. I have been cautious and aware enough in my working relationships not to cause offence, so I have never been accused of "racism".
You should never ask someone where they are from until you get to know them a little bit and they get to know your intentions and attitude.
It is helpful to know someone's background and find out a bit about their heritage especially when you are managing multi-cultural teams, which may include, Muslim, Jewish and active Christians as well as people with different coloured skins. White people are in a privileged position, as they usually come from what is perceived to be an historically "dominant " culture, so, therefore, they are obliged to be more tolerant and sensitive to cultural niceties.
There has to be a bit of give and take, but, the incident at the palace with a Royal aid being accused of "racism" is a case in point of insensitive "where are you from" questioning gone too far.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/ngozi-fulani-lady-susan-hussey-racism-b2236786.html
When Ms Ngozy Fulani made it clear that she was born in Britain and was a British citizen, then Lady Hussey should have shut up or changed the subject quickly, and apologised if Ms Fulani had taken offence. I am only commenting on press reports so I do not know the actual facts. But I do know that everyone, should be aware that the attitude of "white entitlement" does not go down too well with all members of our community. We should all be careful of what we say and how we treat others. Apologising after the event is not good enough and does not go far enough, so it is time now for a sincere change of attitude.
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